


Give and Take

by scatter



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Community: badbadbathhouse, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Hand Jobs, M/M, Obedience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-02
Updated: 2011-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-18 22:02:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatter/pseuds/scatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Souji's Shadow is desperate to please and Yosuke can't help but be tempted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give and Take

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at the Persona 4 Kink Meme: _I like super dominant shadow Souji, but I'd love some fic where Souji's shadow is desperate to please his teammates, willing to do anything to make them happy. (If you want to somehow work in non IT members too, go ahead) And the teammates slowly start to take advantage of this thinking "Well... he's a part of Souji, so Souji must be okay with it."_
> 
> _Anon particularly likes Yosuke/Souji and Kanji/Souji, but will go for pretty much any pairing where shadow Souji is submissive and groveling to an unhealthy extent._

Yosuke hadn't been sure what he expected from Souji's Shadow. The thought was still hard to take in. Souji – who'd had his Persona longer than anyone, who'd been able to call it and go into the TV from the start, who'd never come off as the kind of person to hide anything from himself and had seen more times than anyone what the consequences of doing so were – had a Shadow. He wasn't sure how to feel about that; it brought Souji down some, made him more like everyone else, and that idea simultaneously reassured and unnerved him. He wanted Souji to be special, to be on some level unreachable by anyone else, but if he had a Shadow then maybe he wasn't out of Yosuke's reach.

While he wasn't sure what to expect, however, he'd had ideas. The whole team did and they hesitantly tossed a few around before the subject became so uncomfortable they had to stop. Shadows were generally the same: angry and hateful, attacking everyone around them. Yosuke had worried that the Shadow would have something bad to say about the team, that Souji was holding back some hidden resentment for them. More selfishly, he'd worried it would have something bad to say about him, and he'd spent the trek through the dungeon thinking back on all the things he could have done differently – those times he'd complained about work to Souji or rambled on about Saki-senpai, and what if Souji hadn't wanted to hear any of it? What if Souji actually hated him and he was sick of Yosuke hanging around him and calling him partner when he'd never even asked if he was okay with it? He got sick from nerves just thinking about it.

The dungeon hadn't helped. It felt like someone was watching him, making him jumpy and anxious. He kept glancing over his shoulder, removing his headphones to try and make out the words that occasionally came from nowhere. It was Souji's voice, but he was just saying the kind of things he always did when someone asked him for help or some of his time: "Sure, I can do that," and "I don’t mind at all, I'll be right there." There was something behind those words, though, and that was what Yosuke had strained to hear, a breathy whisper that raised the hair on the back of his neck.

It was during one of these attempts to make those words out – he felt he should try and figure them out despite how nervous they made him, and he thought he'd caught something about being happy – that he'd looked up and found the rest of the group gone. Calling hadn't done any good, not out loud and not when he reached for the connection that bound everyone to Rise. Behind him was the same stretch of gray, but in front of him was a door that hadn't been there before. With nowhere else to go, he opened it and stepped in.

And there was Souji's Shadow.

He'd considered finding a yellow-eyed copy of his friend who would tell him how much he hated him, considered the possibility that Souji really thought they were all idiots who couldn't do a thing without him. He wasn't sure what to make of a Shadow that sat in a sad heap on the floor, one that perked up and leaned towards him when the door closed.

He readied his knives and looked around the room, but it was small and bare, the walls gray. "Where's Souji?"

"Me? I'm…" The Shadow looked confused. He'd never seen such an open face on one, except Naoto's when it cried. "Oh, that part of me. He's upstairs. He's waiting for you, just like I was. I'm glad you're here."

He smiled, and it made him look even more like Souji. Yosuke found himself wanting to smile back, but he refrained, concentrating on what was important. This wasn't Souji. "Where are the others?"

"Still on this floor. Don't worry, they're fine, but I had to split you all up." He hunched his shoulders and his smile faltered. "Sorry, but that's the only way this'll work."

"What'll work?" Yosuke wondered if he should move but at least with his back to the door there was no chance of the Shadow getting behind him. Not that he seemed like he was going to do anything besides continue to watch Yosuke with wide eyes.

"I can't please everyone at the same time. It's hard; it's impossible; everyone wants something different and even when they don't there's not enough of me to go around and someone gets upset. I hate it when that happens, it means I've messed up and I'm not good enough, and I have to try even harder to fix things, but sometimes I feel like I can't try any harder or I'll…" His eyes skittered around the room before finding Yosuke again. "But like this I can concentrate just on you. It'll make things easier for me but that's not important, I'm not complaining. It'll make things better for you, though, and that's why I did it."

"You're not making any sense." Yosuke raised his knives.

"I'm sorry." The Shadow whimpered and sank lower to the ground. Souji never cringed like that, like he expected Yosuke to hit him, and seeing his Shadow do it made Yosuke sick. "I—"

"Sit up, will you?"

The Shadow straightened. "Sorry. I didn't do a good job explaining, did I? I'll do better; I want to make you happy. Tell me whatever you want and I'll make it happen. I'll do anything as long as you like it, as long as it means I'm doing the right thing."

"I don't want anything." What a weird Shadow. Shouldn't it be making fun of him or something?

"You do," he insisted, "but that's fine, everyone does. Even I do; I want to make you happy."

"Okay," Yosuke said slowly, deciding to take advantage of the situation, "then take me to Souji and the others."

"That?" The Shadow wilted like Yosuke had stolen something from him. "Already, you're not…? You aren't happy here with me? Why, what did I do wrong? Tell me, please, I'll fix it."

You exist, Yosuke was tempted to say, and that's what wrong, but that wasn't fair. It wasn't Souji's fault that he'd put him on some pedestal. "You didn't do anything, but you said you'd give me what I wanted, right? I want to see Souji."

"I _am_ Souji, but that's not what you mean, is it? I don't want—but that's what makes you happy, isn't it? Leaving me?" He pulled on his sleeves. "I can't—okay, okay, I'll do it. But first, wouldn't you like to do something else? I can do all sorts of things, you'll like them, I promise."

Despite himself, Yosuke hesitated. The look on the Shadow's face, somehow forward and shy at the same time, let him know exactly what sort of things he might be talking about and the idea of doing them with Souji, with this Shadow who looked like and sounded like and was a part of Souji…

God, he was a creep just for thinking about it.

"No, those aren't—"

"Or," the Shadow said quickly, "I can tell you things. Whatever you want to know, I won't keep any secrets from you. Anything you've wanted me to tell you, I'll tell you now."

"If Souji wanted me to know something, he'd tell me." He didn't sound as confident as he would have liked.

"Do you tell people everything you want them to know? No, wait, I shouldn't have asked that, sorry." He flinched back. "But I do want you to know them, all of them. Really, I should have offered sooner, you shouldn't even have to tell me to tell you."

"You don't need to—"

"Yosuke, please let me, don't just leave. You want this—sorry, but you do, I can tell, and I mean it when I say anything. I won't hold a thing back."

It was awful seeing Souji, even his Shadow, stretch towards him and grovel like that. Yosuke's stomach twisted at the sight and he knew he should tell him to stop, but… Souji tied him into knots without even trying; Yosuke found himself thinking of him more and more lately, wanting him so badly he felt like trying to sink into his skin. He got angry at Souji for no reason even when he wanted to throw him against something and fuck him so hard he wouldn't remember anything except Yosuke's name. Shouldn't Souji just know? Yosuke's feelings were so strong there was no way he could have been hiding them well, not from Souji, who saw everything. It was a dumb anger; he knew that if he wanted anything he should admit what he felt, but it was easier to be mad at Souji, to stare at his back in class and think, _Just figure it out, say something, tell me you like me first and I'll do anything you want, I'll do it anyway, just please,_ please…

Having Souji, just for a moment, as anxious to please him as Yosuke was to please Souji all the time… It was wrong to take advantage of this, to want it to continue, but couldn't he just enjoy it for a second? Just pretend for a minute that Souji felt something close to what he did?

The Shadow had said Souji was fine and, really, the only thing in the place that could hurt him was the Shadow. If he was safe, staying just a while longer couldn't hurt.

"Okay." Yosuke lowered his arms and put one knife away, keeping the other out in case this was a trick. Doing so made him feel more committed to staying, and the Shadow stopped shaking, even smiled a little in relief. He'd…he wouldn't take him up on those things he offered. Just thinking about them made a heat settle deep in his stomach. He'd ask a question or two, learn something useful, make the Shadow happy because he couldn’t stand to see Souji's face twisted up like that, and then he'd be able to get to Souji. "Answer a couple of things for me."

"Oh, good." He tensed up, listening intently. "Ask whatever you want."

Yosuke tried to think of something harmless. "Where are the others?"

"Still on this floor. Rise's looking for you, but she can't find this room. I had to hide it or they might all come in at once and then there'd be too many people and I wouldn't know who to focus on."

Okay, good to know. "You said Souji was safe. You're not lying, are you?"

"What?" The Shadow looked devastated by the suggestion. "No, no, I wouldn't, why would I do that?"

"Just making sure." Yosuke tapped his knife against his leg. He tried to think of another question that didn't matter but nothing worth saying came to mind and he didn't want to ask little questions. He wanted to probe deeper, to get reassurance and hear things he'd never ask Souji in other circumstances, and the Shadow wanted to tell him so that—that made it okay to ask just one serious question. "We're…friends, right? You like me; you don't secretly hate me or something?"

He'd been worrying about it ever since they entered the dungeon, but almost immediately he wished he hadn't asked. He couldn't bear it he said yes, if Souji was like those kids back in the city who—

"Yes. Yes." The second word was a moan as the Shadow leaned his head back and gave him a look that went right to his dick. How many times had he imagined Souji looking at him like that? "Oh, I like you so, so much, you can't imagine—you can't—" He shivered. "You're my favorite, I want—"

Thoughts of whether this was right or not, of his friends, even of whether Souji was scared alone on another floor, all flew right out of his head at that. "Wait, I'm what?"

"My favorite. It's bad, I know, you're not supposed to have favorites and I tried not to, but I can't help it, but—I'm not—I like the others too, I promise, I just can't—I'm sorry, please don't be angry or—" He looked ready to give into panic, pupils so wide they nearly erased the yellow of his irises.

"Hey, calm down." He did, snapping his mouth shut and taking deep breathes, fists curled up between his legs on the floor. Yosuke hardly noticed the instant obedience. "You…like me best?"

"Yes."

"Out of all your friends? The whole team?"

The Shadow nodded hard. "Yes, out of all of them."

It shouldn't have made him so happy to hear something like that, something that seemed like it should be kept private. A person didn't go around ranking his friends, especially not someone like Souji, and he'd already known – had already hoped – this was true, that being Souji's best friend gave him some special place, but hearing it from the Shadow, from the part of Souji that wouldn't hold anything back, made him…

"You're smiling." The Shadow was too, delighted. "You liked hearing that?"

"Yeah." Yosuke raised a hand to his face, covered his mouth. He was hot; he must have been blushing like some girl getting a confession. He felt like one, an almost painful feeling of happiness building up in him.

"Would you like me to say it again?" Yosuke nodded so minutely he barely felt it, but the Shadow managed to catch the movement and crooned, "Yosuke, you're my favorite, my absolute favorite; I'd do anything for you. Tell me to do whatever you want, and I'll do it. I only want to make you happy."

"Whatever I want?" Yosuke muttered. Buoyed by the knowledge of his place in Souji's world, that offer sounded better now.

"There's not a single thing I won't do." He stretched out until he was down on all fours, for all appearances on the verge of crawling, and looked at Yosuke with hooded eyes and a parted mouth. A wave of arousal went through Yosuke, so strong he got dizzy.

Fuck, when was he going to get a chance like this again? Another minute wouldn't hurt and neither would being closer. "Come here."

He didn't get up and walk. He crawled – like Yosuke half-suspected he would, like he'd half-wanted him to, he was terrible – and when he came to rest at Yosuke's feet he knelt with his legs wide so Yosuke stood between them and gazed up at him with absolute, wide-eyed devotion and, fuck, Yosuke was so hard he ached. The Shadow saw the bulge in his pants – he couldn't miss it, not with his face right there – and his mouth widened slightly, tongue peeking out to wet his lips, and he looked at Yosuke so hopefully that he had to sink down to his knees because if he didn't he was going to tell the Shadow to lean forward and—

"You'd do it, wouldn't you?"

"Didn't I say anything?" Yosuke thought he should sound frustrated at repeating the same thing, but he seemed to like assuring him. "Maybe I'm not being clear again. Would you like me to? It's okay if you're sitting down. I'll just lie out or bend over, whichever you like better."

Yosuke closed his eyes; seeing Souji's face looking at him like that while he said those words was too much. He leaned forward, but it felt more like he was being drawn, unable to stop from getting close enough to feel the heat coming off of the Shadow, to feel the air pushed out by every short, quick breath. His heart raced painfully and every inch of him tingled at their proximity. "Tell me how much you like me again."

"Yosuke." He'd never heard his name said like that, like it was the best thing in the world. He could feel the tension coming off the Shadow's body, felt him wanting to move closer. "I like you so much, I can't—I want to be around you all the time, and I make sure you're okay after battles first, and when something comes up I try to be with you first because I want to make you the happiest even if it means disappointing someone else but I'm not supposed to do that, I have to make everyone happy but I'm so selfish that sometimes I—I can't help it, I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't—"

"It's okay. It's great, it makes me happy." He put his other knife away, found the Shadow's jacket, and tangled his hands in it. "You want this, right?"

"Yes, yes, please."

"Souji, he'd…he wants…" Yosuke opened his eyes, unsure.

"Yes," the Shadow said. "He wants it, I want it, go ahead."

"Okay." He put one hand under the Shadow's jacket to press against the small of his back. "I'm going to kiss you, alright?"

Just one. That wasn’t overstepping anything, not by much. It was a little pathetic, though, getting from Souji's Shadow what he couldn't get from Souji, but he was so eager and willing to give Yosuke what he wanted and right now that was it. It'd be fine; no one else would find out, and he'd thought about it so much in the past that if he let this opportunity go now he'd regret it forever, he just knew it. The Shadow let out a long, high breath at his touch and ran his hands up his arms, and that helped wipe the last of Yosuke's indecision away.

Yosuke had imagined kissing Souji a lot – in the middle of class, when Souji smiled at him in the TV, when he was alone in bed and touching himself and hoping Souji would call – and in almost every fantasy, Souji led. He was such a leader that it only seemed natural to envision Souji pinning him down, and, yeah, sometimes he imagined himself on top or telling Souji what to do but in the end Souji wound up in charge again and he was okay with that. The Shadow didn't lead, though, didn't try to make him do anything; he melted against Yosuke and let him set the pace. It was odd, at first. Despite the Shadow's behavior, he hadn't been expecting this and the first few moments were clumsy as he tripped up, trying to figure out how much pressure to apply and how to hold his head. Embarrassed, he almost pulled away but the Shadow was whimpering and rubbing his arms, and that gave him enough confidence to keep going and it only improved from there on.

It got too good, actually, too easy to think he was actually kissing Souji, and he broke off with a pant. The Shadow gripped his jacket and whined. "What's wrong, why did you stop? Was it something I did? I won't do it again—"

"You didn't do anything wrong." He buried his face in the Shadow's neck, kissed it, and tightened his hold on him. He couldn't seem to let go. "I shouldn't be doing this, not without Souji knowing. That was enough." It wasn't; he kissed his neck again and the Shadow leaned his head back.

"You should, it's fine. Aren't I Souji? He knows; I know, and I want you to keep going, please, please, I know it makes you feel good."

"It does." Yosuke tried to think with something besides his dick. If he got this out of his system there'd be no problem when he finally found Souji on another floor, but if he left now then the instant he found Souji he'd do something stupid. So it made sense to keep going for a while longer. "Okay, just for another minute."

"I'm so glad." The Shadow barely had time to get the words out before Yosuke was kissing him again, slipping his tongue in, an action that got a groan and suck in response. That sent a bolt through him straight to everything – his cock and fingers and toes – and he made an odd noise, felt the Shadow do it again. He pushed his hands under his shirt, meaning to make the touch brief, but the skin under his fingers was hot and the Shadow gasped into his mouth, so he kept them there. The Shadow was trying to crawl on him and he was trying to pull him forward and eventually he ended up straddling one of Yosuke's legs. That was good – when Yosuke cracked his eyes, he saw Souji's face looking down at him, cheeks flushed and mouth wet – but it put pressure on his cock, and while that was great he knew they could find a better position.

"On your back."

He had to actually stop the Shadow from just dropping backwards, easing him down slowly, and then he leaned over him. It was much better; the Shadow arched his back and tugged on his hair and with his knee bent between Yosuke's legs all Yosuke had to do was drop his weight and rock to get the stimulation he wanted.

"Is it good?" the Shadow asked when Yosuke turned his attention to his throat. "I'm doing alright?"

"It's great." Yosuke wasn't sure how he was managing to talk; with his face against Souji's neck and his hands on his body – finally touching him, how long had he wanted this? – and Souji's knee between his legs, his thoughts were a mess. It took effort to put them into any kind of order and that effort didn't seem worth it, not when he could keep concentrating on how good Souji smelled and how he fit perfectly against him. "You're great, I love you so—"

He froze and Souji – no, his Shadow – stared at him with an almost frantic hope on his face. He looked away, gritting his teeth. How fucking pathetic was he? This wasn't Souji, just his Shadow, but—his thoughts sprang off into a new, more attractive direction. A Shadow wasn't all of a person but it was part of them, a real part, and if Yosuke loved all of Souji – and he did – then wasn't it okay to say that to this part of him? Maybe he'd hear, wherever he was, and know how Yosuke felt.

He looked back up. The Shadow was still waiting, eyes so fixed on him so intently he looked almost crazed. "I do, I love you so fucking much I get angry sometimes. I can't think of anything else and I want you so much it can't be normal. How I can feel like this and you not know? Or do you not care, are you just messing with me, getting some kind of sick thrill from—"

"No, no!" The Shadow wrapped his arms around him tight enough to hurt and gave a heavy, dry sob. "I didn't know, but I should have figured it out, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." He knew it'd been a stupid thing to say; Souji wasn't the kind of person to let something like that pass by without comment. He just got so frustrated sometimes. They were best friends; why couldn't something like this be easy between them, why couldn't he just say something?

"I've made you mad."

"You haven't."

"We don’t have to talk. Let's go back to kissing, you liked that. I did too." He pressed his mouth against Yosuke's ear and dropped his voice. "If you're tired of kissing, I can do other things, better things. You'll like them even more."

"…What kind of better things?"

The Shadow smiled in satisfaction and laid back. The sight of him with his hair disheveled and shirt wrinkled, stretched out just for him, wiped every coherent thought from Yosuke's mind. Looking at him like that, offering himself to him like that, he held Yosuke in place without even trying. He would have done anything he asked right then, would have stabbed himself with his own knife to keep that look on Souji's face, but Souji – his Shadow, did it matter? – wasn't asking him to do anything. He was asking what Yosuke wanted and giving it to him and letting Yosuke lead, and it was too much, he thought he might die because Souji's hands were on his belt and opening his fly and then his fingers – the same fingers Yosuke had tried to fool himself into thinking were touching him a dozen times – were on his cock and only some miracle kept him from coming right then and there.

He rested his arms on the ground and bent low over Souji, barley able to hold himself up. Some part of him realized he should offer to do the same and he must have said something because Souji shook his head and said, "Just let me know you like it."

"Okay." He couldn't manage more than that, glad to be let off. His hands were shaking so much he didn't think he'd be able to do a good job. "You're…really good at this, I feel like I'm going to melt." Maybe he was melting from the inside out; the words were just dripping out of his mouth without conscious thought. "Everything about you is so damn…good, I can't stand it. You know, sometimes I wish we hadn't gotten anyone else on the team, that it'd stayed just me and you and—well, fuck, we'd probably be dead by now if it had but it'd just be us, and I wouldn't have to share you and… I don't—God, I have no idea what I'm saying, I can't think when you're—really fucking great at this, Souji."

Souji moaned and a ripple went through his body like he was getting off on the praise, and when he wet his lips Yosuke tried to kiss him. He didn’t do it well and ended up mostly just panting against him, but Souji let out pleased little noises and licked his mouth. Closing his eyes, that was all Yosuke could concentrate on: Souji's tongue and the slow movement of his fingers, and suddenly Souji's hand wasn't enough, but he couldn't say anything because he was too close to coming and could only manage to breathe raggedly and mutter, "Fuck, fuck."

Coming was so good it was almost painful. He made noises like he'd been hit by a Shadow and dug his sneakers into the floor, and when he came to he found Souji staring at him with glassy eyes. "Was it good?"

Yosuke nodded weakly, swallowed to wet his throat. "Really…fantastic."

Souji slapped a dirty hand over his mouth, closed his eyes, and shuddered. It took Yosuke a moment to realize he was having an orgasm, the way he muffled his noises and tried to stay still. He just watched, too tired to do anything and unsure if he was supposed to.

Souji removed his hand. There was a shiny smear on his lips and he licked it away. "Sorry, I—"

"Do that again."

"What?"

"Lick your mouth. And your fingers."

Souji's eyes brightened in understanding and he spent the next minute cleaning his hands, licking up and swallowing Yosuke's come. Yosuke enjoyed watching it, but only sort of; he was coming down from his temporary high and, like always after getting off to thoughts of Souji, he was starting to feel bad. Only now it was worse, the guilt sharper, because Souji was somewhere alone in this dungeon, his friends didn't know where he was, and in the meantime he'd been getting a handjob from a manifestation of his friend's subconscious.

"Should I clean you up too?"

"Yeah, sure." He sat back and Souji – the Shadow – laid out on his stomach and cleaned him as best he could with his mouth. He'd caught most of it with his hands so there wasn't really anything on his clothes, which Yosuke was grateful for. He couldn't imagine trying to explain that to everyone.

It felt really good. Yosuke ran his fingers through the Shadow's hair and tried to push his guilt away for a moment and just get lost in the sensation but it wasn't working. "After something like this, I can't still be your favorite, can I?" The Shadow tried to say something but his mouth was full. Yosuke pulled his hair gently. "That's enough. I want to hear you talk now."

The Shadow sat up, lips shiny. Yosuke used his sleeve to clean them. They still didn't look normal, too red and swollen, but it was better. "Of course you are. Why wouldn't you be? I think I like you even more now."

"Ha." He felt relieved, but guiltier too. He occupied himself with putting his belt back on and it took too long because his fingers were trembling. "I…fuck, I gotta go. Will you take me to Souji now?"

"Of course." The Shadow waited for him to stand up before doing the same. He started to head towards the door, but Yosuke stopped him.

"Don't… You can't tell any of the others about this, okay?" He smoothed the Shadow's hair down, tried to put him back in order. "This has to be a secret you can't tell anyone."

"I can do that." He helped Yosuke straighten his shirt. "I don't want to share this."

"Great, but I mean…you can't even tell Souji." Yosuke wasn't sure if Shadows could keep secrets from their other halves. Maybe if he kept the subject away from this—

"What do you mean? I already know."

"Not you Souji, the other Souji," he said, a little impatient in his need to get his agreement. "The one upstairs."

The Shadow stared at him blankly. "He already knows, of course. Didn't I say I was Souji and that he already knew? I'm sure I told you."

Yosuke's heart stopped. "What?" His voice sounded very far off and he swayed on his feet.

The Shadow steadied and kissed him. He didn't seem to mind that he didn't respond. "Sorry, but we have to go. He's waiting for us and he's anxious to see you."


End file.
